Maintaining healthy communication with someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be difficult. BPD sufferers often text too much, communicate in a way that is not constructive, and may even use manipulative tactics to get their needs met.
However, there are ways to overcome these challenges and improve communication for both parties. In this blog post, we’ll explore tips on stopping BPD texting too much.
One of the most important things to remember is that people with BPD often act in ways designed to get a reaction from others. If you find yourself on the receiving end of frequent, unwanted texts, it’s important not to engage.
Why Do Bpds Text Too Much?
Borderline Personality Disorder (also known as “Narcissistic” and/or “Cluster C“) is the most common form of mental illness in America today — affecting roughly 2% of adults. In many ways, it’s similar to depression but has some key differences that make it unique.
One thing this diagnosis shares with other anxiety disorders like social phobia, generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc., is the inability of people with these illnesses to regulate their emotions effectively enough to live normal lives without constant stress. For those struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder, text messaging can be one way to seek relief by talking out loud about their feelings.
But there are also signs to look out for if your partner uses texting as a crutch because they need more attention than face-to-face conversations. If so, here are 4 tips to help them cut back on the number of texts they send you without cutting off all communication completely!
Why do BPDs text too much?
People suffering from borderline personality disorder often need extra emotional support online instead of meeting up in person. This may sound scary initially, especially since we’ve been conditioned to believe that real relationships require lots of face time together. But while texting allows us to communicate easily across distances, sometimes its excessive use can feel needy and controlling.
It’s not uncommon for a borderline addict to send dozens upon hundreds of messages per day simply asking for reassurance that his or her feelings matter. Because of this, some people turn to text over face-to-face contact whenever possible, even though it requires less effort physically.
The reason behind this behavior isn’t always as obvious as just needing more attention. Some experts say it could stem from early trauma that left BPD sufferers emotionally disconnected during childhood.
Others believe that our brains were designed to crave stimulation through touch, which explains why some BPDs find comfort in being touched constantly to alleviate painful physical memories triggered by past incidents. Whatever the cause, it certainly impacts the ability of BPD addicts to function normally in daily life.
And when the line between healthy intimacy and unhealthy obsession gets crossed, it becomes very difficult to tell whether your relationship will eventually become toxic.
If you suspect this might happen with your partner, try putting a moratorium on any new communication until things settle down. Then see if he or she feels better once all the old messages have stopped coming.
If they do, then maybe there was nothing wrong after all. However, if it turns out your partner still wants to keep communicating via text message despite getting no response, here are some strategies for texting with a borderline friend or partner.
How To Text Someone With BPD?
If you are close to someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), you may have noticed that they can be very difficult to communicate with. Their emotions can be so intense that they seem to change from one minute to the next, and they may impulsively say or do things that they later regret.
If you want to stay in touch with someone with BPD, it’s important to be patient and understanding. Here are a few tips for how to text someone with BPD:
- Avoid triggering topics. If you know that certain topics tend to set off your friend’s emotional reactions, try to avoid them in conversation. Stick to lighter topics instead.
- Don’t take everything personally. It can be easy to take things said personally in the heat of the moment, but remember that it’s not really about you.
- Be supportive. If your friend is having a hard time, tell them you’re there for them. Sometimes just knowing that someone cares can make all the difference.
- Don’t try to fix their problems. It’s not your job to try to fix your friend’s problems, and they likely won’t appreciate your attempts to do so anyway. Just be a good listener and offer support where you can.
- Avoid sending mixed signals. If you say one thing, but your actions contradict what you’re saying, it can be confusing and frustrating for your friend. Try to be clear and consistent in your communication.
- Be clear and concise in your communication. BPD can make it difficult to process information, so try to be as clear and concise as possible when texting.
- Check-in with your friend regularly. Just because someone has BPD doesn’t mean they don’t want to hear from you. In fact, most people with BPD appreciate regular check-ins from their loved ones.
- Set boundaries as needed. If you find that you’re constantly the one picking up the pieces after your friend’s emotional outbursts, it’s important to set some.
- Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you tell your friend that you’ll always be there for them, but then you disappear when they need you, it will only worsen things. Be honest about what you can and can’t do.
Most importantly, be patient and understanding. Everyone communicates differently, and it may take time for your friend or loved one to open up. But with patience and care, you can maintain a healthy and supportive relationship via text.
If you follow these tips, texting should be a much easier and more pleasant experience for you and your friend with BPD.
BPDs When Someone Doesn’t Reply
Even if the above suggestions worked for you and helped your partner realize that he or she needs to learn how to cope with strong emotions outside of texting, chances are some days won’t be easy for either side. There’ll likely still be times when both partners wonder why the other keeps ignoring their requests or replies, causing unnecessary confusion.
Fortunately, there are plenty of reasons you might ignore a request from a loved one who suffers from a borderline personality disorder. Here are some possibilities to consider:
They Just Aren’t Into Us Enough To Reply At All. Sometimes a person experiencing intense emotion will avoid engaging directly with another human being entire. Maybe they find it easier to express themselves online rather than risk rejection. Either way, you shouldn’t push unless he or she explicitly asks for more interaction.
There Are Plenty Of Things Going On Right Now. Sometimes a person suffering from severe mood swings won’t give you the space to deal with your issues immediately because he or she knows they can wait till later. Give yourself room to breathe and focus on calming down first.
Eventually, you can reconnect to discuss how to manage your anger or other challenges together.
It Could Be An Emergency Situation. Perhaps the worst-case scenario is that your borderline friend or partner is dealing with a crisis and unable to return your call.
Try calling again within 24 hours or sooner, depending on the severity of the emergency. If it takes longer, check with his or her closest family members or friends to see if they can provide assistance. Also, make sure to reach out to professional resources helping people overcome addiction.
It May Have Something To Do With Work. If your BPD friend or partner starts working late shifts or stays home from school consistently, you might notice that certain aspects of his or her routine aren’t changing anytime soon. Remember that everyone has obligations beyond the office or classroom, and you can respect them by waiting patiently for them to finish.
You Can’t Afford Time Spent Waiting Around. Sometimes a bad habit causes your BPD friend or partner to neglect basic responsibilities, leaving little energy for connecting with friends or answering emails. Take care of your own business, and save the worrying for later. Remember that you deserve quality interactions with your loved ones too.
Don’t let yourself give up hope unless you receive proof that your efforts weren’t worth it. Keep reaching out to him or her regularly and remind them of your availability. If you haven’t heard back in 48 hours, follow up with additional gentle reminders. But if it continues to take far longer than expected, it’s probably safe to conclude that you should end the friendship altogether.
How To Stop BPDs From Texting Too Much?
You can do a few things to stop BPDs from texting too much. One is to set boundaries with them. Explain that you need space and time to yourself and that you don’t want to be bombarded with text messages all day. Let them know that you’ll still be available to talk but that you need some time apart.
You can also try ignoring their texts for a while. This will usually make them back off a bit. Finally, if nothing else works, you can always block their number. However, this should only be a last resort as it will likely damage your relationship with the person. Thanks for reading! I hope this was helpful!
While it sounds clichéd, responding more is the best way to stop BPDs from texting you. Responding means taking the initiative to show interest in his or her problems or expressing empathy whenever appropriate.
In addition, it involves actively listening and acknowledging concerns without judgment. By providing thoughtful feedback and genuine encouragement, you create opportunities for your BPD friend to open up further. When you do, it helps build stronger bonds between you two.
In conclusion, if you suspect your borderline friend or partner is spending too much time texting you instead of interacting with you in person, you can address the issue head-on by showing patience and understanding.
When he or she comes clean about wanting you more frequently, offer positive reinforcement instead of criticism. Letting go of control lets your loved one know that you accept their choices unconditionally without judging them for making different decisions from yours.
Finally, if your relationship ends after this process, please realize that it was an opportunity to gain valuable experience and skills in handling future relationships. No one is perfect, and we can all use a little help from our friends sometimes. Please share this article with your friends and family if you found it helpful.
Do borderlines need constant attention?
No, people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) do not need constant attention. However, they may need support and understanding from their loved ones.
How does BPD affect communication?
BPD can affect communication in several ways. For one, people with BPD may have difficulty regulating their emotions, leading to outbursts or conflict with others. They may also have difficulty reading nonverbal cues, such as body language and facial expressions, making communication more difficult.