People who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are often described as “self-absorbed,” but what happens when this trait causes someone to take advantage of another person?
Why would anyone in an emotionally healthy relationship consider having sex outside the one that should be exclusive? And why is it so easy for them to find excuses not to end the affair or break up with the partner? Does being diagnosed with BPD mean that you will always cheat on your significant other?
To understand how these questions can arise, we need to look at why people with BPD might choose to stray away from their partners. While there are many possible explanations, let’s start by exploring the psychology of infidelity itself.
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BPD cheating signs
If you suspect that your partner is cheating on you, here are some warning signs to watch out for:
They suddenly want to spend more time apart
BPD, or Borderline Personality Disorder, is a mental illness characterized by instability in relationships, mood, and self-image. People with BPD often experience intense fear of abandonment and feelings of emptiness and impulsivity.
BPD can also cause difficulty regulating emotions and thoughts, leading to risky behavior. While BPD itself doesn’t necessarily mean that someone will cheat, some signs may indicate that cheating is more likely.
For example, if your partner suddenly wants to spend more time apart, it could signify that they’re feeling overwhelmed by the relationship and seeking attention elsewhere. If you notice this sign or any others suggesting your partner may be cheating, you must talk to them about your concerns.
BPD can be a complex illness to manage, but with treatment, it is possible to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
You notice strange smells around the house
If you notice strange smells around the house, it could be a sign that your partner is cheating. While there could be innocent explanations for this, such as your partner trying out a new cologne or perfume, it could also be a sign that they are trying to cover up the scent of another person.
If you notice that your partner’s clothes often smell like smoke or alcohol, it could be another sign of cheating. If you have concerns about your partner’s fidelity, you must talk to them about your problems. If they are unwilling to discuss the issue, it could signify that they are hiding something.
They start wearing new perfume or cologne
Anyone in a relationship knows that trust is essential. Without it, couples drift apart, questioning every little thing their partner does. Trust can be complicated for those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Because people with BPD often have very intense emotions, they may act impulsively and do things that they later regret.
This can include cheating on their partner. While there is no sure way to know if someone with BPD is cheating, some signs may indicate that something is going on.
For example, a person with BPD may suddenly start wearing new perfume or cologne. They may also dress differently, trying to attract attention from others. If you notice your partner exhibiting these behaviors, you must talk to them about what’s happening. Only by communicating openly can couples hope to maintain a healthy relationship.
Your phone logs numerous calls from unknown numbers
If you’ve suspected that your partner is cheating on you, there are a few telltale signs that may indicate that your suspicions are correct. For example, if your partner’s phone has been blowing up with calls from unknown numbers, they may be hiding something from you.
If they’re suddenly receiving a lot of texts and calls late at night or during times when they’re usually not available, that could also be a sign that something is going on behind your back. If your partner is being evasive about their phone usage or who they’re talking to, that’s another red flag.
If you notice any of these changes in your partner’s behavior, you must have a conversation about what’s going on. Trust is an integral part of any relationship; if it’s been breached, it can be challenging to rebuild.
However, with honest communication and a willingness to work through the issues, it is possible to move past this and create a stronger bond than before.
They’re always making excuses to avoid being alone with you
If you’re in a relationship with someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you may often feel alone, even when your partner is physically present.
This is because people with BPD tend to avoid being alone as a way to cope with their fear of abandonment. If your partner is constantly making excuses to avoid being alone with you, it may be a sign that they have BPD. Other symptoms that your partner may have BPD include difficulty communicating, unexpected outbursts of anger, and reckless behavior.
If you’re concerned that your partner may have BPD, it’s vital to seek professional help. With treatment, people with BPD can learn to manage their symptoms and have healthy, fulfilling relationships.
They’re more secretive about their phone and computer usage
There are several signs that your partner may be cheating on you if they suffer from a borderline personality disorder. One of the most common signs is that they become more secretive about their phone and computer usage.
They may start to delete text messages, emails, and Google search history. They may also avoid being near you when they’re using their devices. If you notice any of these changes, you must talk to your partner about what’s happening.
They may be able to explain their behavior, or they may be cheating on you. Either way, it’s essential to communicate with your partner to resolve the issue.
They start picking fights with you for no reason
Do you feel like your partner is always picking fights with you, even when there’s no reason? If so, it could signal that they’re cheating on you.
People who cheat often have a lot of guilt and frustration, which they take out on their unsuspecting partners. If your partner seems to be trying to start arguments with you more often than usual, it’s worth paying attention to.
They delete their social media accounts or change their privacy settings so you can’t see what they’re up to
There are several signs that your partner may be cheating on you if they have a borderline personality disorder. One of the most common is deleting their social media accounts or changing their privacy settings so you can’t see what they’re up to.
They may also start spending more time with their friends or talking to people online instead of spending time with you. If you notice these changes in your partner’s behavior, you must speak to them about what’s happening.
Cheating can be a sign of underlying issues in the relationship, and it’s essential to address these issues before they get worse.
You catch them in lies about their whereabouts or what they’re doing
Most people fib from time to time. But if your partner continually lies about their whereabouts or what they’re doing, it could be a sign that they’re cheating. If they were previously honest with you and now they’re being secretive, it’s worth asking them why.
They may have a perfectly innocent explanation, but if they continue to lie, it’s a sign that they’re not being honest with you. Cheating can also be a sign of an underlying problem in the relationship. If your partner is unhappy with the level of intimacy in the relationship, they may seek it elsewhere.
Cheating is also often a symptom of unresolved issues from the past, such as unresolved trauma or childhood abuse. If your partner is displaying signs of cheating, it’s essential to talk to them about what’s happening. Only by communicating openly can you hope to resolve the issue.
They stop inviting you to places where they’ll be with other people
If you notice that your partner suddenly stops inviting you to social engagements where there will be other people present, it could be a sign that they’re cheating. They may feel guilty about their actions and worry that you’ll confront them in front of others, so they’ll start avoiding situations where that could happen.
Another possibility is that they’re ashamed of being seen with you and are trying to distance themselves from you publicly. Either way, this behavior change is a red flag that something may be going on behind your back.
They accuse you of being jealous or paranoid when expressing concern about their behavior
If you suspect your partner of cheating, several signs may indicate that they have Borderline Personality Disorder. For example, They accuse you of being jealous or paranoid when expressing concern about their behavior.
This is known as gaslighting, a common tactic used by people with BPD to make their partners doubt themselves. If your partner constantly tells you that you’re overreacting or imagining things, it’s a red flag that they might be trying to cover up something.
They start distancing themselves from you emotionally
If your partner suddenly seems distant or withholds information about their day-to-day activities, it could be a sign of cheating. This is especially true if they start making excuses for not being available or unable to spend time with you.
If your partner is usually very open and communicative, sudden changes in behavior could be a sign that they’re hiding something from you. If you suspect your partner is cheating, you must have an honest conversation about your concerns.
Cheating can cause much pain and mistrust in a relationship, so it’s essential to address the issue head-on.
They say they’re not ready for a serious relationship
As most people know, trust is essential in any relationship. However, when trust is repeatedly broken, it can be challenging to maintain a healthy relationship. If you suspect your partner may be cheating on you, there are several signs to look for.
One of the most common signs is if they say they’re not ready for a serious relationship. This may signify that they are not interested in monogamy or that they are still seeing other people.
They may also make excuses not to meet your friends or family. If your partner is constantly making excuses, it may be time to talk seriously about your relationship’s future.
They say they need space or want to take a break
If you’re wondering whether your partner may be cheating on you, there are a few signs to look out for. First, pay attention to how they talk about other people. If they suddenly start talking about someone else more than usual, it could be a sign that they’re interested in them.
Second, notice how they act around you. If they start getting distant or seem preoccupied, it could be a sign of cheating. Finally, listen to what they say. If they start making excuses for why they can’t spend time with you or why they’ve been distant, it could be a sign that they’re cheating.
If you notice any of these signs, you must talk to your partner about what’s happening. Cheating is a serious issue and can damage relationships irreparably. If you suspect your partner is cheating on you, the best thing to do is talk to them about it and see if they’re willing to work on the relationship.
These symptoms sound pretty obvious, but it’s important to remember that people with BPD are skilled at hiding their true intentions. A person suffering from BPD may deny that they’re doing anything wrong, even though they know their actions aren’t standard. So instead of confronting them directly, it’s best to discuss the situation calmly and see what they say. Don’t accuse them unless you absolutely have proof otherwise.
Why Do People With Bpd Cheat?
Designed to hurt others without regard for consequences. In short, cheating occurs when someone feels entitled to use another person for their own benefit.
Many experts believe self-esteem problems significantly affect whether a person cheats. People who feel worthless tend to seek relationships where they can manipulate, lie and steal to gain attention and affection. They also try to avoid intimacy, making it difficult to connect deeply with a partner. When a person with low self-worth has been cheated upon, they may think nothing of repeating the process.
On the other hand, those who feel good about themselves will usually want more than anything to keep the connection they’ve developed with their partner intact. Cheating becomes less appealing if both parties enjoy each other’s company and share common values.
Another reason people with BPD cheat could be because they feel overwhelmed by their feelings. Many sufferers experience extreme highs and lows during mood swings that cause them to behave unpredictably. Feeling like they are losing control over their lives, they’ll sometimes turn to alcohol or drugs to numb their pain.
However, using substances only masks the real problem. Instead of allowing them to work through their emotions, substance abuse typically leads to further isolation and depression.
Once a pattern begins, breaking free from the cycle can become harder. The same thing applies to romantic relationships. If a man or woman spends too much time thinking about themselves, it can lead to unrealistic expectations and jealousy towards a lover. As things get better, the person gets angry and disappointed that everything didn’t go according to plan. It doesn’t matter how long the relationship lasts since the underlying issue hasn’t changed.
How a person deals with stress plays a massive part in determining whether they cheat. Those who cope well by exercising regularly, eating right, and spending quality alone time together usually don’t resort to illicit activities. People with BPD who engage in risky behaviors such as unprotected sex or taking dangerous amounts of medication may have trouble controlling their impulses.
Can A Borderline Stop Cheating?
No one knows for sure whether people with BPD can ever truly change. Some researchers claim that BPD isn’t caused by genetics but childhood trauma. Others argue that certain brain chemicals trigger erratic behavior patterns later in life. Either way, it seems unlikely that someone who suffers from BPD can completely overcome the condition overnight. But if left untreated, BPD can certainly worsen over time.
Although no one can predict the future, it’s still worth trying to improve matters yourself. Talk to your partner about ways that you can help each other deal with stressful situations. For example, if you frequently fight over money, suggest setting aside extra funds for emergencies or discussing how you’d handle financial disagreements in advance.
Also, set boundaries on how often you can meet with friends or family. Make sure you trust each other enough to talk openly about your personal thoughts and needs. These steps won’t magically cure BPD, but they can reduce its impact significantly.
Bpd And Cheating Paranoia
Some psychologists believe that women with BPD are particularly vulnerable to becoming paranoid when dealing with men. Women with BPD often fear rejection and abandonment, especially in intimate relationships.
Because they crave constant validation and approval, they worry that their lovers will leave them once they figure out all of their flaws. Therefore, they may interpret every sign of disinterest or neglect as confirmation that their boyfriends no longer love them. Not surprisingly, this insecurity can prevent women with BPD from dating altogether. Since they cannot distinguish reality from fantasy, they assume that everyone is plotting against them.
Men with BPD face similar fears regarding sexuality. Due to past traumatic experiences, they may develop mistrust toward casual encounters and pornography. Men with BPD fear their partners will judge them harshly based on their appearance and performance. Their lack of interest in sex may seem unnatural, making them question their masculinity.
To compensate for these concerns, some guys with BPD may experiment with sadomasochistic practices in private. Although it may temporarily relieve anxiety, engaging in bondage and discipline can reinforce negative beliefs and perpetuate unhealthy habits.
Does Bpd Make You Cheat?
It depends on who you ask! Most doctors agree that BPD affects people differently, depending on gender, age, culture, and environment. That said, research shows that a large percentage of patients with BPD eventually become involved in extramarital affairs.
According to Peter Kraft, author of Love Is Stronger Than Death, approximately 40% of adult females with BPD will experience a romantic attachment sometime in their lifetime. Of course, statistics vary widely among different studies.
What’s clear is that BPD puts sufferers under immense pressure to perform excellently in almost every aspect of life. Even the most minor mistakes can send them into a tailspin of shame, embarrassment, and despair.
No wonder they often put tremendous effort into building solid connections with their loved ones. Unfortunately, this strategy backfires when a person with BPD falls victim to their own perfectionism and self-doubt.
Those with BPD may sabotage their chances of success by putting unreasonable demands on their partners. Instead of strengthening their bond, they focus solely on pleasing themselves. They push their partners away by obsessing over details, nitpicking comments and criticisms, and comparing themselves unfavorably to others. One study showed that women with BPD were four times more likely to report extramarital affairs compared to non-borderline female participants. Conversely, men with BPD weren’t any more prone to cheating than other males.
For now, little evidence indicates that being diagnosed with BPD automatically turns a person into a lifelong serial cheater. There are plenty of examples of successful couples coping with BPD, although it requires patience and commitment to resolving chronic conflicts effectively. Ultimately, however, no one can decide whether a particular individual deserves sympathy or blame for falling prey to BPD. Only the patient can determine their fate.
If you are concerned about your partner’s mental health, encourage them to attend therapy sessions and follow treatment plans recommended by professionals. Remember that BPD is treatable, but it takes hard work and determination to recover. Take care of yourselves and stay positive!
Can BPD cause cheating?
The causes of cheating can be complex. However, BPD has contributed to some issues in romantic relationships, including emotional instability, impulsivity, and lack of trust. If you believe your partner’s BPD contributes to their infidelity, it is crucial to seek professional help. Only a qualified mental health professional can provide an accurate diagnosis and recommend treatment options.