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People with BPDs are often labeled cheaters, but is this true?
It’s hard to know what to believe regarding people with BPDs. Some people say they’re incapable of fidelity, while others claim they’re just as capable of monogamy as anyone else.
To find out the truth, we asked experts in the field about whether or not BPDs cheat. Here’s what they had to say.
In this blog post, we will explore the relationship between BPD and infidelity and look at some factors that may contribute to cheating behavior in people with BPD.
Table of Contents
Do Bpds Cheat?
First, let’s clarify one thing: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) isn’t necessarily to blame for infidelity. People with BPD certainly aren’t immune to making mistakes. But those who suffer from BPD often experience serious emotional difficulties, making them vulnerable to falling victim to circumstances outside their control. It’s important to remember that being human doesn’t mean always doing everything right.
We are fallible beings, and sometimes we’ll fail. What matters most is how quickly we learn from our errors and whether or not we use them as opportunities to grow stronger. If we continue to wallow in self-pity instead of learning from our missteps, we will repeatedly hurt ourselves until we finally come around.
Even though BPD itself cannot be blamed for cheating, it does play a role in understanding why certain individuals would turn to infidelity. Many people diagnosed with BPD struggle with extreme stress levels, anxiety disorders, depression and other psychological issues. Not surprisingly, many of these symptoms include feelings of emptiness, boredom, restlessness and despair.
When combined with low impulse control, substance abuse and/or co-occurring mental health conditions such as bipolar disorder, eating disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorder, it becomes easier to understand why some folks would resort to cheating. To put it bluntly, BPD makes cheating almost inevitable. The good news is that these behaviors can be overcome with proper treatment.
Read about BPD cheating signs
Why Do Borderlines Cheat?
If you’ve got BPD, chances are high that you also have borderline personality traits. These characteristics include erratic mood swings, intense emotions, impulsivity, instability, irritability, difficulty managing relationships, chronic anger, lack of empathy and frequent lying.
Most recognize these traits within ourselves or family members without feeling too badly about it. However, for those struggling with BPD, these traits can cause significant distress and interfere with functioning daily. When faced with situations where intimacy or commitment is required, BPD sufferers may react unpredictably or defensively due to past experiences that trigger fear of abandonment. They may also feel overwhelmed by strong emotions like shame, guilt, resentment and regret.
It’s easy to see how any of these factors can lead to risky decisions such as engaging in unprotected sex or meeting someone new online. Unfortunately, since many people with BPD are highly sensitive to criticism, rejection and disappointment, they may begin to question their worthiness before anyone else has expressed concern. As a result, they may avoid getting close to anyone lest they end up disappointed again. They may sometimes wonder if their partner loves them enough to stay committed to a long-term relationship.
Many people who deal with these challenges eventually seek help from therapists or support groups. But even if you’re not dealing directly with BPD, you’ve likely experienced similar patterns in your intimate relationships. So please try not to beat yourself up too hard. You haven’t failed; you’ve just made choices you probably wish you hadn’t made. Now it’s time to move forward and start living your best life.
Can A Borderline Stop Cheating?
While BPD can’t be prevented, it is possible to significantly reduce its risk factors. With effective therapy, medication management and lifestyle changes, people with BPD can improve their overall well-being and manage their condition effectively. One way to do this is to develop skills to cope better with stressful events, negative thoughts and urges.
Learning coping mechanisms, problem-solving techniques, and ways to calm oneself down can reduce the likelihood of acting upon temptations to engage in unhealthy behaviors. Another strategy involves identifying triggers and developing strategies to prevent them. For example, avoiding alcohol and drugs before going out with friends can help minimize temptation.
By limiting access to places where substances are commonly used, addicts can cut back on cravings and potentially save their lives. Similarly, cutting ties with old romantic partners can create a distance that reduces loneliness and provides relief from boredom. Lastly, keeping a journal can provide insight into triggers and allow you to identify warning signs.
Once identified, you can work towards changing your behavior accordingly. Above all, trust your intuition. Don’t ignore uncomfortable feelings or impulses that tell you to step away from potential danger.
As difficult as it may be, facing reality head-on and working through your fears can enhance your ability to live authentically and open yourself up to love.
Even if you don’t fully resolve the underlying causes of your struggles, acknowledging your vulnerabilities can help you accept yourself unconditionally. Ultimately, it allows you to build confidence and strength. Just ask anyone who survived cancer or heart disease. Their stories demonstrate that recovery is possible despite seemingly insurmountable odds. Take comfort in knowing that you can survive anything life throws at you. No matter how bad things look now, you deserve happiness and fulfillment. Your journey starts today.
Can BPD be faithful?
BPDs can be very faithful and loyal partners. However, like anyone else, they can cheat in an unhappy or abusive relationship. If you are concerned about your partner’s fidelity, you must talk to them about your concerns and get help from a therapist or counselor to address any trust issues you may have.
Are BPDs codependent?
People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are not necessarily codependent, but there is a strong correlation between the two disorders. Codependency is when someone has an unhealthy relationship with another person and is overly reliant on them for their emotional needs. This can often lead to Codependent Personality Disorder (CPD), which is when someone cannot function without the other person in their life. People with BPD often have codependent relationships because they fear abandonment.