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It’s never easy when you find out that your ex is waging a smear campaign against you. But there are ways to deal with it that can help minimize the damage. Here are some tips to help you get through it.
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What To Expect During A Bpd Ex-Smear Campaign?
After you suspect that your significant other is engaged in a smear campaign against you, you should brace yourself for what’s coming next. Because now you’ll likely receive lots of nasty messages, phone calls, and emails filled with hateful words.
Your ex may start calling you late into the night, sending threatening texts, or harassing you via social media. She/he may also attempt to contact your coworkers and teachers. After receiving these kinds of attacks, most victims report feeling extremely upset and confused. Many people describe feelings ranging from sadness to fear to rage.
Others feel depressed, anxious, and angry. Most of the time, however, none of these emotions come directly from the actual attack itself. Instead, they stem from a combination of factors including shame, guilt, self-doubt, confusion, anxiety, rejection, loss, loneliness, embarrassment, abandonment, jealousy, betrayal, and insecurity.
As much as you may try to rationalize that your ex isn’t worth caring about anymore, deep down inside you still care deeply for him/her.
Therefore, you end up suffering through all of those painful emotions anyways. But thankfully, there are ways to cope with these situations effectively. Below are four tips to follow if you decide to go ahead with a smear campaign against your BPD ex.
Be prepared for retaliation
Although many people believe that they aren’t worthy of further treatment due to past failures, they still tend to cling onto hope that things will eventually improve. Unfortunately, this false sense of optimism causes them to continue exhibiting abusive behavior, despite knowing better. While this strategy may seem tempting, it actually backfires quite quickly. By continuing to engage in destructive actions, your ex becomes increasingly frustrated and starts to lash out. Ultimately, this leads to increased violence and aggression toward you.
Take extra precautions
Make sure that you always lock your bedroom door when you sleep. Never share personal details about your day with anyone else unless absolutely necessary. Avoid sharing pictures and videos of your ex online. Also, never give out your address or cell number to your ex under any circumstances. Remember that revenge porn thrives on trust. Sharing intimate photos and videos with strangers puts you at risk for becoming a victim of cyberstalking and sexual assault.
Focus on healing
During times of emotional turmoil, it’s easy to fall prey to thoughts of vengeance. Before embarking upon a smear campaign, remember that you should focus on rebuilding your broken relationships rather than destroying your ex’s reputation. Try to remind yourself of your goals and intentions. Remind yourself that you’re looking forward to happier days ahead. Ask yourself whether you truly want to achieve victory by hurting your ex instead of helping him/her heal. If you answered affirmatively, consider seeking professional assistance immediately.
Protect yourself legally
If your ex tries contacting you repeatedly, block his/her numbers and set your mobile device to silent mode. Contact your local police department regarding safety concerns. Find out if you can file a restraining order against your ex. Consider moving somewhere new temporarily until the situation resolves.
Keep your cool
The first and most important thing you can do is to keep your emotions in check. Getting angry or defensive will only give your ex more ammunition to use against you.
Don’t engage
It can be tempting to try to fight back against the smear campaign, but this will only make things worse. The best thing you can do is to ignore it and let it run its course.
Talk to your friends and family
It’s important to have a support system to help you through this difficult time. Talk to your loved ones about what’s going on and let them know how much their support means to you.
Do Borderlines Do Smear Campaigns?
Yes! Absolutely yes. Every single one of us borderlines does smear campaigns on our loved ones at least once in our lives. We often use these tactics without even realizing it. For example, many of us might tell ourselves lies like, “I’m not really jealous” or “It’s just part of me.” When people ask us questions about something we’ve said, we may begin to get defensive or start to act secretive.
Sometimes we lie about where we were or what we did just to avoid having to answer direct questions. It’s possible that we could also be attempting to sabotage an upcoming relationship between two other people, which would explain why we’d want to spread negative information about another person online.
Or maybe we’re afraid that our current partner won’t leave us alone after learning certain truths about us. Whatever the reasons, borderlines definitely do smear campaigns. And as long as you realize that you’re doing it, you shouldn’t experience any major problems afterward.
How Do You Spot A Smear Campaign?
If you suspect that your boyfriend or girlfriend is engaging in a smear campaign against you, here are some signs to look out for.
First off, she/he will probably become more distant than usual. If he doesn’t outright ignore you, then he may stop returning calls or texts right away. He may also suddenly change his plans for dates or stop showing up altogether. He may also start avoiding you whenever you see him outside of work (e.g., at school). Another sign is that he may start telling friends and family members all sorts of untrue stories about you.
You might find yourself getting caught in the middle of an argument between him and others over rumors that you’ve started spreading around. He may say things like “She was cheating on me!” or “She’s crazy!” A third sign is that he may send you emails full of nasty comments. These types of messages usually contain statements such as:
You’re stupid
You must hate yourself
Your life sucks
You deserve whatever happens to you
You have no value
You’re ugly
You’re worthless
You’re going to die soon
You’re trash
You’re evil
You ruined my life… etc.
He may also call you names, yell, text excessively, or show extreme anger towards you. Keep in mind, though, that although these behaviors are common among BPDs, every individual case is different.
Some people exhibit only one type of behavior while others display several different patterns throughout their entire relationship. So, if you notice multiple symptoms occurring simultaneously, that doesn’t necessarily mean that your guy is participating in a smear campaign. Just take note of anything suspicious happening in your relationship. Then, talk to your therapist or trusted friend if necessary. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
What Is A Narcissist’s Smear Campaign?
Narcissists generally resort to smear campaigns when they feel insecure or threatened by their partners’ attempts to distance themselves emotionally. Narcissistic individuals view intimacy as conditional.
That means that they require constant validation and attention in order to maintain their inflated egos. To compensate for this lack of fulfillment, they seek external sources of power and control. One popular method that narcissistic personalities utilize is called a smear campaign.
A smear campaign involves lying about someone in hopes of making their target feel bad enough to return to the abuser. Since many narcissists struggle with low self esteem, they typically project their insecurities onto their targets. Thus, they perceive their partners as threats to their fragile ego.
The goal of a smear campaign is to undermine confidence in one’s target so that s/he feels compelled to apologize and beg for forgiveness. Once again, there are many variations of smear campaigns depending on the personality traits and motives of each specific abuser. Typically, however, narcissistic abusers employ smear campaigns to gain leverage over their partners.
They frequently criticize their partners publicly in hopes of shaming them into submission. Alternatively, they may slander their victims online, spreading malicious gossip and lies about them. Other forms of smear campaigns include filing frivolous lawsuits against their targets, leaking confidential documents containing damaging accusations, or posting fake unflattering photographs of their partners online.
Anyone can participate in a smear campaign regardless of gender. Men and women alike can manipulate their lovers into thinking that they are undeserving of happiness and affection. People of all ages and backgrounds can abuse their positions of authority and influence to harm others. Often, people who participate in smear campaigns are highly manipulative and deceitful. They use psychological warfare to win arguments and sway opinions.
Many people wonder if they can ever escape a toxic relationship involving a narcissist. The truth is, unfortunately, it’s impossible for someone to completely break free from a controlling partner. Even if you manage to cut ties with your abuser, he/she may hold onto resentment and refuse to let go. Abusers often blame their victims for causing them pain and anguish.
Furthermore, they may try to convince their partners that they are unworthy of love, respect, and compassion.
Although it’s difficult to overcome these obstacles, there are plenty of resources available to help survivors of trauma caused by narcissism. Therapy, support groups, and self-help books can provide valuable insight and guidance.
Survivors can learn how to recognize red flags early on and develop healthy coping mechanisms to deal with future episodes. Additionally, they can explore various strategies for overcoming codependency and reclaiming their autonomy.
What is a narcissist’s smear campaign?
A smear campaign is a deliberate attempt to damage someone’s reputation or relationships by spreading false information. It can be used as a form of revenge by a narcissist who feels threatened or attacked. The smear campaign will typically involve making up lies and spreading rumors about the target, in an effort to discredit them and destroy their relationships.
Do borderlines come back after a smear campaign?
In some cases, a smear campaign may be successful in driving a borderline away for good. However, in other cases, the borderline may return spitefully or out of curiosity. The best way to deal with a smear campaign is to stay strong and keep your head up.
What triggers borderline rage?
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often experience intense and unmanageable anger known as borderline rage. This can be triggered by seemingly small things, such as a smear campaign by an ex-partner, or even something as innocuous as a minor disagreement. For people with BPD, any perceived slight can quickly lead to feelings of rage and betrayal.